I know I said I’d be writing Part 4 of my Nurturing series, but I have something else on my mind. Besides, part 4 is proving fairly difficult to write.
I want to talk about bullies.
a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
When we think about bullies, it usually brings to mind children on the bus or playground at school. More often these days, we hear it in the context of someone taking their own lives because they’ve been a victim of relentless bullying for whatever reason. Most of us don’t think about adults being bullied. We tend to think that by the time we become adults, we all know better.
Well that simply isn’t true. Twice over the past few weeks, someone I know has been the victim a bully. I don’t think this person would have ever put the “Bully” label on it, but that doesn’t change the fact they were being intimidated by an overbearing adult. This person essentially agreed to work for free because the Corporate Bully (CB) was unhappy. CB was not pleased with some work this person did. He had been given every opportunity to see progress along the way, but ignored all communication. Once he saw the work he was angry. After realizing his lack of communication was a big part of the problem, he decided to carry on with the work but changed the terms agreed upon by both parties at the beginning. In the end, the person I know is getting the super short end of the stick, but in order to keep peace and get it over with, he agreed to CB’s terms. That means long hours put in and very little compensation.
Just because a person is louder and more forceful than you are doesn’t mean you need to take it lying down. Stand your ground, be strong and fight for yourself. I don’t mean to physically fight, but don’t back down from your principles.
Also, the next time you’re on the phone with a company who has irritated you, or you’re in a super long line and the person running the register is super slow, take a few cleansing breaths and don’t take out your frustration on that person. Don’t be the jerk at the restaurant who treats the server like total trash. Don’t yell at the person making your coffee too slowly for your liking at the coffee shop. If you do act like that, guess what? You’re being a bully.
Being a bully doesn’t make you respected. It doesn’t make you cool or likeable or popular. It makes you a sad, sorry, hated person If you know someone that needs help with bullying, here’s your one stop shop for resources on the subject. StopBullying.gov
I would also like to direct your attention to thetrevorproject.org
If you know someone struggling with bullies because of their sexual orientation.